Random Friday - A Bittersweet Goodbye Story - 02.15.2013

So... during the Alt Summit in Utah, one of the group discussions I attended was titled "Things I'm Afraid to Tell You." It was led by Jess Lively and Ez Pudewa of Creature Comforts. I sat amidst a group of amazing women talking about getting personal.  How personal should we get on our blogs? How much should we share? What is too much information? Can we and should we share stories about our children? Our spouses? Our friends? Ourselves? We all agreed that getting personal on a personal blog is a good thing and readers want to get to know us and are investing their time in reading our blogs and getting to know a little more about us. And at the end of the day, it's really up to us to decide, individually, just how much to share.

So... although I do feel like I am myself on this platform.  There are, of course, things I'm always afraid to discuss.  But, I know you are all lovely and I shouldn't be afraid, right?

As you all know, we all moved into a new home recently.  It's a lot smaller than the rental home we were in and we lost a lot of yard space as well.  Lil' S and I, both, have allergies.  She got them from birth.  I developed them during my pregnancy.  They are respiratory allergies.  I swear this will all make sense in a minute...

So... suddenly... pet hair became a real issue for us.  At the rental home, we kept our doggies in a separate area of the house (no where near the nursery).  The house was large enough that we could comfortably do that. But, the new place was a different story.  It's preeeeetty small. Pretty. But, pretty small too.  Just right for three people. Three people and two big dogs. Not so much.

Here are my babies...

The yellow lab/huskey mix is Luke.  Luke was my husband's dog when we met.  The chocolate lab is Cocoa.  He'd been with me close to 8 years.  Ever since he was a mere 8 weeks old.  

We had to make a choice.  Do we bring them with us or do we find a new home for them.  As someone who has been a huge animal lover forever and who doesn't agree with tossing your pets when they become an "inconvenience"... I was very torn. Very, very torn.  I wanted to be a responsible pet owner and just keep them, somehow.  But, I also wanted to be a responsible mommy to lil' S and provide the best environment for her.  This was tough.  Our old life and our new life colliding and at odds. What to do?

After a LOT of tears (just ask the hubs) and a lot of back and forth... we forged ahead with finding them a new forever family. God, that was so hard.  You have no idea.  My babies... with a new set of parents? A new family? No. How? Why? Would I ever see them again? Should I? Would that be fair to their new family?

We began the search.  I also became very picky as to where and to whom they would go.  Luke, I wasn't too worried about.  He'd be happy with anyone.  Of course, I still wanted him to go to the best family ever! But, I knew he'd have no problems adjusting.  Cocoa, on the other hand? Totally loyal to me. 100% attached.  I used to joke that we should have named him Shadow instead. As he definitely was my shadow. 

I put up the announcement at school.  I work in a rural area where people typically have huge homes and huge lots of land.  I got many "I wish I could" responses.  My original request was to keep them together.  They were brothers and great friends, you see...

Unfortunately, that's a lot of responsibility for a family to take on.  So, I understood that it may not be possible.  

I was incredibly blessed to have a fellow teacher step up and contact me about either of the doggies.  She had not had a dog in years and was ready to take a new one in.  She's just a perfect mommy for Luke.  Has two young children and lives on an acre of land, where she used to have a horse! I mean... how awesome is that? I knew Luke would be in heaven there! We set up a meeting, they fell in love.  It was a done deal.  This was the day Luke and I waited for his new mommy to pick him up.  I think he knew what was coming.  He looked so sad. : ( It broke my heart. 

Of course... as soon as he saw his new ma... he was so excited.  I'm happy to report that he's been there a month now and she stops in to see me regularly to brag on Luke and just how much they love him and how funny and wonderful he is. He is pretty darned funny! So, I know she's for real! 

It makes me so happy to hear that he's in such a loving home.

So, where did that leave my beloved Cocoa?  He went to live with my parents, temporarily, mind you.  But, they could not keep him, as they already have two dogs.  So... the parental pressure was on.  I was getting a daily phone call... "Um... any luck?" After much searching and talking and word of mouth... we got an e-mail from a lady named Jane (I've changed their names for confidentiality purposes).  She and her husband love chocolate labs and were interested in Cocoa.  They described themselves so well (plus she had excellent grammar. I knew that was a good sign!!).  So, I agreed to meet them.  I know me though. I know that I would not let him go if it didn't feel right.  Sometimes I wondered... was he my shadow or was it the other way around? I really love that dog. I really do.  

So... Sunday at 2 o'clock came.  I stood outside with Cocoa and the hubs... waiting for this couple.  Well... as soon as they pulled up in their preeeeetttty nice pick up truck... I got a smile on my face.  They had huge smiles on their face when they saw Cocoa. Not only that... but they were huggers! What??? I know! Sweet! I love huggers! It was truly love at first sight. They walked him. They cuddled him.  They just loved him straight away and my heart felt joy, peace and sadness all at once.  This was his family. I knew it. I just knew it.  

We talked, agreed and he was going home with them.  I kneeled down, kissed his snout again and again and said "I love you so much. Mommy loves you sooooo much. I will miss you and I promise you will have a beautiful life with Mr. Joe and Ms. Jane. They're going to love you so much. They already do! I love you my Cocoa Puff. You're mommy's sweetheart." Ms. Jane just cried and hugged me tight. She said... "We'll keep in touch. We'll send pictures." I said... "Yes... please do. But, I will let go and let you both be his new family." That was hard to say. But, it's the right thing to do for our family and for his new family.  But, most importantly, for him. He deserves the best doggie life... ever. 

It's been about a week and a half now since my Cocoa went to live with his new mom and dad.  Here's a picture I received...

He is a happy boy with his football plush!! : ) Here's an excerpt from their e-mail...

..."Cocoa has been such a joy and blessing to us. He's absolutely the BEST! He has adjusted very well and we hope that he is as happy with us as we are with him.  Thank you again and again and again!"

Is that not the best? I was so happy to read this and see the picture. : )

So... I suppose it's a happy ending after all.  They both ended up living with families that just adore them and are giving them amazing lives with lots of love.  

But... it still hurts. My heart hurts. But... it is at peace knowing that they are both loved. So, I was afraid to share this with you because I guess I was afraid of being judged... "How could you? If you really cared... etc..."  But, I'm confident that we did what was best.

Thanks for letting me share my story of a bittersweet goodbye with you. Thank you for being such kind and understanding readers. 

Hugs,

Mina

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